Tag: bingeeating

Blogmas 2018

Blogmas Day 18: How I fell off the fitness wagon

fitgirlinprogressblog

I started my journey End of 2014 but I first started losing weight 2015, by June/July I had lost 17kg /37.5lbs which I was super happy about. As you might know if you read some of my previous posts my relationship with food wasn’t something I had really worked on up to this point in my journey.

About 2-3 months into my journey I’d allow myself to have an entire Cheatday every single Sunday. So every Sunday I’d eat whatever I wanted, the entire day, no calorie tracking whatsoever. I would’t eat extraordinarily big amounts of food but I’d eat high calories, well over my limit (Candy adds up very quick..) at first that wasn’t an issue I’d still lose weight but then I hit a plateau. At the same time I finished all my Exams and stared working my first real job, I’d work long hours and had to commute (+2.5 hrs each way) every day to get to work. It was a very stressful time I barely had any time for myself, let alone strenght to go to the gym after a long day (also difficult because I was using public transportations), at the end of the day I was even to exhausted to meal prep. I would buy my meals at a grocery store close by, at the beginning I’d still eat quite healthy, but soon I started to buy comfort food and quickly I put on a few pounds that I had lost. Approximately 10kg/22lbs to be exact.

Not being able to workout was so demotivating and all that stress led to me simply not really caring anymore. Luckily that job that caused me so much stress was only temporarily. Pretty much the rest of year 2015 I struggled to get back on track again, I was stuck in a vicious cyle of binge eating. The fact that I felt like I had lost control (over my eating) and that I had put on weight was frustrating and depressing I felt like a failure. I knew I had to get a grip and take control over the situation again in order to feel better physically and emotionally. I had to prove to myself that I actually was capable of doing it all over again, and I did.

*Find out how I got back onto the fitness wagon in my next post.

Blogmas 2018

Blogmas Day 5: A Mistake I made and what I learned form it

fitgirlinprogressblog

One of the biggest mistakes I made throughout my journey surely was to do entire Cheatdays. At first I was pretty restricitve but a few months into my journey, I figured it would be okay to allow myself to eat whatever I wanted once a week. So I started having a Cheatday every single Sunday.

Not a Cheatmeal, an entire Day. I would eat whatever I wanted. I wouldn’t track any calories that day, but I sure ate well over my limit. Not portion size wise, I have never been one to eat extraordinary big quantities of food. It’s what I ate that was the issue, I’d have stuff like candy, pancakes, cereal but even small portions of those add up quickly because they’re high in calories. After such a day I’d feel absolutely miserable, my digestion had a hard time handling the food I ate. I noticed I was developing an unhealthy mindset. I’d work hard throughout the week to reach Sunday and finally treat myself. It was almost as if that was the only thing that got me going. I soon noticed that as someone who used to struggle with binge eating that was not a good solution for me and it also slowed down my weightloss. After each Sunday my body had to get rid of the excess water it retained from the high carb food I had consumed, so it was a vicious cycle.

I fell off the wagon sometime later and had to almost start over from the beginnig as I had gained some weight back (I will go more into detail in a later post). Anyways one thing I learned, I had to make this mistake and several others to get to where I am now and to find what works best for me and my body. I noticed that after starting over but without constant cheating my body would look a lot better even at the same weight as previous.

I don’t regret making this mistake as I learned a lot from the experience.

Throughout the years I developed a much healthier mindset and relationship with food. I will still allow myself to eat something thats not part of my regular diet but it’s only one meal that I swap now and it’s very rare that I do so. Not because I over restrict or anything like that, I just don’t have the desire as often as I used to (but nowadays I also would’t allow myself to manipulate my own success like that.. I developed a lot of discipline). If I choose to eat something outside my regular diet my choices have become much healthier which I’m really happy about (I still have a sweet tooth though but I have it so much better under control now).

This honestly has been a difficult post for me to write, as it’s the first time for me to be so open about struggles I had with my diet and my relationship with food. My binge eating for example has been my “dirty little secret” from before I started my journey and was something that I just never talked about. This is the first time for me to actually even mentioning or admiting to it at all.